Blind dates with experts

Blind dating is a habit I developed after reading a book Designing your Life: How to build a well-lived, joyful life from William Burnett and David J. Evans. These two Stanford's professors created a step by step design thinking life guide for their lost graduates, but the book turned out to be for anyone who might be curious about possibilities in life. In this article I share with you what this habit is and how you can benefit by cultivating it.

Be curious. Ask questions. Try out new things.

I ended up reading the book while I was doing my internship in Berlin. OMG! It's Berlin! Everyone thought that I was doing great but actually, I was lost and confused about my future. I could not say what I was doing or what I want to do. I decided to give it a try with design thinking methodology.

The book was written as an interactive workbook. Therefore, one can split given tasks in weeks and reflect upon results. One chapter in the book was particularly important to me - Be curious. Ask questions. Try out new things. It was about meeting new people and talking to them about current project ideas. I decided to finish all the tasks while in Berlin, because I truly believe that Berlin is the best place to find, test and grow your professional skills. It is the most vibrant city in the world and meeting the right people there have never been easier.

Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable

Since I was quite new in the city, I had to send a plenty of messages to people who might know some interesting Berliners. After some time, one friend suggested a guy who just moved to Berlin. He introduced us via Facebook and let the magic happen! I remember being extremely nervous knowing that the guy was doing a lot of amazing things. My brain was trying to protect me from possible moments of feeling less, so I thought about canceling the meeting. On the other hand, I knew that I had to surround myself with people who might know more about business, success, failure, and life than I did. I parent myself and decided to be brave!

In the long run, my first blind date with an expert turned out to be pleasant and very resourceful. The guy was the most amazing and the most natural person on the planet. This is where I understood a bit of mentality of being an entrepreneur and an consultant. Your purpose is to help people on their way without really expecting anything in return. After some time I recognized a behavioral pattern of good entrepreneurs and career consultants:

1. They are grounded and don't emphasize what they achieved but how to get where you want to be

2. They are extremely knowledgeable about topics they are working on

3. They are excellent listeners

4. They all know how to ask good questions

5. They are curious about you, your background and your vision

Cultivating an optimistic mindset

When I got back home in Belgrade, I arranged a meetup with an expert in web design. He was two times older than me - seen it all, done it all. Back then, I knew little about design, but I had an idea of how we could bring designers and anthropologist together and create some quite cool things. This sounded interesting and almost convincing to him but he wanted something tangible. Something like previous project, a research portfolio, an article, really anything that could show that I am actually able to do it. Guess what, I had nothing to show.

I failed in starting an important partnership at that particular moment, but I again made one step forward. This is where I understood that I also cultivated an optimistic mindset. I did not let my brain to trick me and walk me away from what I wanted. Building a story around me and my idea was an important task to do. I started prototyping workshops that helped me shape and sharp my facilitating skills. Soon after, I was inspired to write articles and this was how I built my portfolio.

May Your Choices Reflect Your Hopes, Not Your Fears.

Nelson Mandela

Going on blind dates with experts is one of the weirdest and funniest habits I could possibly cultivate. It is always a bit uncomfortable at the begging, but also a great opportunity to practice presentation skills. Blind dates will help you to reflect better on your project and on yourself. Soon, you will understand that in eyes of others you are what you chose to be and not what your fears or insecurities might reflect.

My advice to you is to open up to new people and especially to experts in the field you are burning with. People who might know more than you. People who might make you feel less but you will realize that they make you feel like you want to achieve more, to study more, to fail sooner and to get one step closer to where you want to be.

Don´t be afraid of anyone.

Learn from everyone.

Be curious.

Ask questions.

Try out new things.